midnight intimacy.

The shadow of the day remains screaming for urgency after the night suppresses madness.
Overheated engine is addicted to frenzy.
Pause is forgotten like a dead lover.



Realistic darkness smiles on a beauty of light.

 But the scattered wisdom remains shiny as it always does. Like a stupid grins.

song from a part of my time

Some songs make u think about a time of you. Whether u like the song or not, it just triggers a part of ur past running in your head. 'Reminiscence'. A word that surfs on the time of me.

positive mind? a solution? or a veil?

One pathetic life is believing the ideology that positivism can bring happiness. Life is a cold fact. Do not 'over-decorate' it with positive fantasy while u feel frustrated.

Why. Dear friend, 'why'.

I have been said that i have to join the 'role-playing' game. The given reason was that everyone does so. So once i tried hard. At the front, longed for taking the main puppet. Never seen the puppeteer. Never seen a mouth saying have seen the puppeteer. Instead, was said that we share our part. My role was to take a part and avoid stigmatisation. I wondered why. I asked why. People said why was a laziness. Why was an immaturity. But why never died in me. Disguising like a 'no-why' intelligent, I strived to be role-responsible. When a gray street relied on me, My heart started pumping. 'why' bursted out. It was worth my life throwing into it. And then, when no one asked why, I was answered why.

some pieces of my thought throughout 2011 (3)

What defines to be a Korean?

Is it Language? Gene? Family background? Appearance? Nationalist passion? Interest on K-pop culture? Paying tax? Passport? Completion of military duty? If ones don't know what's to be a Korean, how come they are so loyal to that 'don't know' thing? Need some clarification on one's decision of his/her identity.

Happiness can be found everywhere. But the existence of life is concerned, happiness can only be found in one way.

The events in Bible are metaphorical? There may be some mismatches with the true histories, but events themselves are not metaphorical. That's my conclusion.

Tmr is never promised. But we try to make sure about future.

I'm NOTHING. What a blessing to realize it!

Don't look at yourself but look at the interest of others.

Peeping on other intellectuals' understanding existance of evil in God's creation. Interesting, but it feels bad that I cannot say my own argument.

‎'I don't know how come I exist, but I just live because I have life'. How come we a so light-minded? There are too much things going on and we are always busy. But we never thought about the meaning or purpose of what u live in.

Small weather changes alter human mental condition. In this gigantic universe, how trivial we are! Nevertheless, we are valued. That's so amazing.

I'm braggin my 'nothingness' so that my God can be glorified alone.

Do I seek for exotic? No. Do I look for the difference? Yes.

We are too busy concerning about relationship with other people. What about yourself/myself? Is it really non-sense to think about reason of own existence because it's not productive?

They know a tremendous number of things - but is it worth while knowing all these things if they don't know the one important thing, The only important thing? (from Siddhartha)

Life without depression sounds abnormal, but no one really faces it face to face. We tend to ignore it so much that now it is designated as a disease. But is it really so extra from our life? At least as long as I know, no one goes without it. For me, it is like a mechanism that gives u a feeling of emptiness. In other words, it tells we gotta fill it with something, other than our own.

Dreaming of being on a beach of Indian Sea. The whole feelings of my youth covered me overwhelmingly. The time I felt when everything means nothing. It was, indeed, a beauty of life.

People are so busy living for tomorrow. They live today for tomorrow. When the tomorrow comes, I find them still busy for the tomorrow's tomorrow. They actually never meet the 'tomorrow' they are after. However, people still live for the tomorrow. Why don't we live today? Why don't we just live out today? If today is gone, then there'll be another today. As long as being in the right track, live today. use today to fulfill the right one.

For Christians, do u love God? I mean, do u love God who wants all of you? Do u love God who does not want you to look for your worldly bliss? Don't blur the image of God. Just say yes and act out, my bros and sis.

SNS is to show off me, then my use of it is intentionally differentiated as the records of my thought. It is never for the spectator but for me and the ppl with capability of thinking what I'm on.

The one who gave me gospel is about to be anointed. Thank you, Lord!

God made home real home, family real family, and me real me. Such an amazing grace!

You are what u talk. Treasure is what u speak of all the time. Look at what you say for finding you.

Agony is a great chance to ponder on the 'self'. Seize the opportunity rather than ignoring it by listening to what people say.

World develops, people earn more money, and technology introduces new convenience. Then why crime increase and less and less people are nice to others? I guess I see something here.

I await my hero. Patience and excitement accompany with me till the time comes. Just wish more of my people get into the right way with me.

Balloons, rides, roads closed, happy music and so on. That's how Carnegie(main road) looks like now. I'm very curious. Merry christmas for who? Happy birthday to who?

This life is so lonely and full of righteous sorrow. Teach me and lead me cuz you are my Lord.

I just saw a life struggling for meaning. He earns really well but the emptiness in him shakes him really much. I hope he start wonder about life and find God.

The Dogmatic force which is called 'natural selection' is prevailing, but its prevalence cannot justify its credentiality. Hm. Yeah, it may make sense in the democratic world.

I'm growing two tomato trees and two garlic plants. They grow well. Now I'm waiting for rain which the forecast kept expecting since sunday and never happens.

Being a real friend is hard, since he/she gotta tell something bitter to the one they really care. But poorer is the one who does not recognise them.

train delayed and I just called off the work. Stuck in the broken train and I couldn't do any. People got upset. But small kids were smiling and swinging their tempered parents' hands. Perhaps ageing means learning to get upset easily over something not that important.

I live today not for tmr nor today but for you, Jesus.

pen and paper. Endless pursuit of linguistic painting.

The first attempt for appealing my own idea than writing off what uni wants resulted in what I expected. No H1, but it was worth it.

Self-mortification, self-esteem, and self-confidence in God makes nothing but self-righteousness and self-deception. We just need selfless love to God to be judged righteous. We do things cuz we love God.

Memory. the unforgettable day on the Indian beach under the monsoon rain. That was a chance of tasting a 'normal' life. It was the closest exotic experience to the commonness. Time has passed a few years. But I still remember the smell of the wet rain from the day.

For a city life, rain means a tool of sentimental reflection. It is a kind of accessory people talk about under the ceiling. On the other hand, rain is a critical essence to the rural life. It is a life supply and sometimes a threat to lives. The adequate concerns from both perspectives cannot be considered simultaneously by one person, since its implication weighs differently according to the situation. What we do is only a guess or estimation. Like this, the way we see things is deeply linked to the situation we face and the interest we have. Then, it seems human view is very apt to be sided.

You are so different from anything else in the world. You are so absolute and your love is so firm. In this changeable and superficial world, you solely are reliable. That difference makes your worth incomparable. In short, you are holy.

May this Christmas be 'real' merry Christmas to you, my friend. Let this birthday be a sane birthday to you. I was so impressed with your concern about you and God.

talking on the phone in the dawn may screw the following day but as long as it was worth knowing deeper feelings of somebody it's a great moment of the life.

Ah!!!!!! When u write something on computer, gotta save it often. Otherwise, u may need to say 'good bye' to the unsaved part reluctantly by encountering a sudden shutdown. (once again, I prefer pen and paper.)

Most people can only understand what they see. This fact has been utilized by evil so well and now it seems almost impossible to believe in something that is not seen. As once I found its illusory lies, my love for the others is ever growing. I really wish they can see what I see. I wish they find it and fulfill the emptiness that stays always in them. I wish they long for the things that never changes throughout their lives and even goes with them further.

What is your reason of living your life? What is your core motivation of life? Do you have one?

a late night. The white flower being reflected by street light. The time when the human loneliness being written. It's a chill night. And it is, indeed, chill.

A suicide note. The boy was mesmerized with the fullness of himself in respect of his existence and it was a victory of the adversary. What if he just had a simple thought upon the meaning of his existence? His letter was my writing back in about less than 10 years ago. (ref : the suicide of a middle school boy in Taegu in Korea)

People say there are things that cannot be shared. In fact, there aren't. It may need some explanation further, but all I say here is that I am one of those who are waiting for you to talk something that seems the thing that only you are concerning about. Whoever read it, don't be bothered being alone. I am here only for your sharing.

Reminiscence of the past brings me of the time where I felt all alone. The time beauty was nothing but a sadness. When the meaning of the thought blossomed, I realized that it was a necessary fertilizer.

He/she who has ears to hear, let him/her hear. This gospel is not those cheap treatments like flue vaccine injection. This is pricelessly valuable gift given by God. U wanna name it in your own way? You'll be charged for that.

The brightly sunny weather woke my diligence and I hang out my doona under the Sun. when a half a day passed, I went to take back my doona with the joy of self-compliment. Now, the doona cover's waiting for washing due to the bird's drop. Another emptiness in effort in worldly life. Haha. (Like words in Ecclesiastes)

To the question of the origin of human pleasure coming from teasing someone. It's not always the case and most(almost all) of such pleasure relates to self-centeredness. We are not pleased over the other's suffer being made by another. When we attach ourselves to the situation, that's where we make joy of.

What u think good may not be real good for you.

A reason establishes a goal. That goal drives motion. Motion defines that person. Therefore, 1) knowing the core reason of motion is essential to justify the person. In addition to that, 2) it is certain that the absence of a reason leads to nowhere but a temporary recklessness.

Paying money for shit. I mean real literal shit. What kind of this convenient world makes me paying for Manure? Hm. Ridiculous but for my tomato.

my thoughts in 2011 from A to Z

Adopting another culture requires another you. Accepting Christ needs the denial of u.

Bring your bad selfishness to the brightness of God. Let him be the best of your interest.

Calculation for opportunity cost and choice is certainly obvious. Nevertheless choosing Jesus over urself is critically decisive.

Declare your christianity to the others! Demonstrate it verbally and dive into it. U Dare do it and God'd bless u with stronger belief.

Eliminate ur ego and empty ur worldly mind. End them and fill it with God's emotion.

Freedom from the frantic worldly obsession is a small part of God's fellows. Fly high, the fanatics!

Goodness is what God sees good. It does not dwell in what you think. U want goodness? Repent and turn back to Christ. Ask God for his grace, glory, and governing, rather than being driven by your selfish greed.

Hello everyone, I'm on my way to write 'A to Z' comments. If I fill up ur news feed, sorry for that. But I hope some may read them and think about the world, yourself, and the meaning of life. Any concern or question, proceed it thru sending me a msg. If it's too much, please complain it to me. haha. Will be happily awaiting. (Wondering who reads till this length).

Incredible God increases a believer who inclines to decrease.

Jesus is just THE ONLY joy, motivation, and saviour for Chistians. I mean, the one and only, not one of many.

Knowledge is the power in the modern world. Everyone pursue to obtain certain knowledge and know-how in order to become a powerful person. But how many wants to know God in order to please him?

‎'Love others'. Literally true commandment. Some longs for doing it but fail. Why? Cuz they don't know how God loves us. We gotta know God's love first, not merely try to behave willingly. (John 13;34)

Meditation, along with fasting and waiting is what Buddhism suggests for achieving the freedom. It seems Buddha had really good insights. But sorry for him that he couldn't fulfil his thirst and made an unfinished conclusion. What that freedom referred was the hopelessness in himself. The broken heart. The essence of the thirst for God.

Nobody but u, Lord!

Omnipotent, omniscient, and omnibenevolent God is the one I believe.

Poverty is ignored,pain is muted, phone is developed but people are isolated, purity is ridiculed, pride is grown, and persecution is strengthened. If it does not seems so, think about your yesterday.

Quality that depends on the acknowledge of quantity is not the way of defining everyone's value, even tho quantity seems to tend to set quality.

Reminding people of God's purpose may be a social turmoil of me, but a spiritual happiness and a serious concern of me.

Seriousness on life has been replaced by entertainment. And it's getting serious in this world.

Too busy to look at oneself is the world. Busy for what? then, that for what? Then that for what? Then, that for what? Then, that for what? Then, that for what?

Undermining your ontological value is on the process. Be aware of the things that makes u wanna fulfil for your own.

Vulnerability seeks security. That's why the beasts of sinners look for holiness.

What's on your mind?

Xenophobia towards sin is a part of holiness. However, the xenophobia towards sinful man is a hypocrisy, since we are all sinful men (traitors of God). Love is a pitiful heart to those who lack of realising the love they are having.

Yawning to the spectacles and yearning to true values of life.

Zoom in and out around your life and see it as an independent phenomenon. And ponder on the synthesis of the meaning of, and result of your life.

Zeal for accomplishing this A to Z comments rendered me the acknowledgement of my tendency of omitting articles. Ah.. Just realised.. Again.