The things I don't deserve.

15 Nov 08 today.

It's the most D-day during a year.

Today(the day above) is the day I could have so much things that I don't deserve.

I thank God for making me having this day which i don't deserve.
I thank all the friends for that giving me concern which I don't deserve.

all the msgs, prayers, phone calls, gifts, surprise party, txt msgs, letters(!!), and unknown glimps of thinking me relating this day. big or small, pricy or not, mindful or tirivial or blessing or cursing. Whatever this day I had was not worth me.


Cuz I know
how I haven't taken care of the people so much,
how I haven't loved the others as I was supposed to be,
how I have turned down the others' hands reaching me,
and I have felt the space in me was to bulk to be hidden,

I just don't deserve this day.


All the blessings and smiles I could have this day simply reminds me of praying more for the others.

whether it's deemed as religous or not, the biggest thing i can do for the people God sent to me as a lovethrough, is prayer.

I won't give up this day.
Cuz this day is the day i could have a material to happily remember in the future.

this hollow is still but i couldn't feel it for the day.

Thx God for showing me these loves through these beloved people.
and thx for the beloved.