Thursday, January 2, 2014

the hope. and The Hope.

I have The Hope and the hope.  

The Hope is to see my Lord in the end.  I live for this.

The other hope with small letters is that I want to have someone who can go this journey with.  

Life is like a travel.  It starts from somewhere and it ends somewhere.  
Depending upon an individual, the way radically changes its shape or outlook.

I do have my own way.  This one is unlike the others' ones.  This has a very firm and unique look with the absolutely fantastic taste of fruit trees.  
But the only problem of this road is that it is far from any other people's road.  There is no neighbor road to mine. 
So I am dying to share this wonderful way to someone. But less likely people recognize its worth cuz it is far from the most people's ways.

I wonder.  Why is it like this?  

So many followed me and said it looks great.  They wanted to know it more.  But then, they got easily changed by the sound of the mainstream people shouting.  they got more interested in the people, not the way itself.  So, they must have seen me only rather than me on this 'my way'.

Now it is getting clearer that I am seen as porcupine who bothers the things getting closer.
Although my way and my value are tremendous and great, I cannot tell them about it cuz my way is different and low. 

I would not mind being treated so cheap and easy if it will worthily shine later on by bearing a fruit called, the hope.  
But it is true that everyone does not see it. 

No. Not everyone, just them, the people who are everyone except "my people".  They don't see its worth enough to stick to.  They just believe it is just another way of a weirdo.   

Being seen as a weirdo and being treated cheap and unbearable.  

It just makes me to giggle at my own effort in caring less about me.  
When my effort is being treated cheap, why do i keep on trying?
Why do I have a hope to have a journey comapanion when I have not seen any?

Yes.  I am desperate.  I am desperately eager to walk this way with the one who appreciates the worth of the way together.

But it is obvious that degrading me without any respect is not on a part of that desire.
Maybe I have trusted too much for the words with the shallow depth.
Or maybe I have tried too hard to overlook the difference of the seriousness.

.. I once dreamt of having a partner who wants to change it.

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